


Widdershins/Snaffle

by seraphichan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Puns, I apologize for nothing, M/M, Mall Cop Levi, POV Armin Arlert, and for making armin suffer, because you know, dad erwin, dad level puns, except maybe that this thing is a little bit of a mess?, puns, what better way is there to flirt with
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 10:40:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10638183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seraphichan/pseuds/seraphichan
Summary: “What did he steal?”Levi reached beneath the table and grabbed the item, sat it in front of Erwin.Erwin blinked at it. “Let me see if I’ve got this correct…” he looked at Armin “...you’re in mall jail because yousnaffledaSnapple?”





	

There was the sound of a doorbell and Armin lifted his head, watched as the security guard swung around in his chair and looked at the monitor on the desk by the door. He stood and pressed the button, and in walked Armin’s dad.

“Hello,” he greeted the guard, “I received a call about Armin Arlert?”

“You the dad?” the guard asked.

“Yes,” he smiled. “Erwin Smith.” He held out his hand.

“Levi.” He took Erwin’s hand and shook. “Smith? Different last name?”

“Ah, yes. You see--”

“No.” Levi interrupted. “That’s your own business. Shouldn’t have asked. Have a seat.” He gestured to a chair in front of the table he was at before.

“Thank you,” Erwin said politely and smiled.

His eyes found Armin’s as he went to the indicated seat, his smile dropping into a frown of disappointment. Armin shrank in on himself and glanced back at the floor.

“He’s not in the cell?” Erwin asked, meaning the small square of space in the center of the room made of metal bars.

There was only one other person in there at the moment. He appeared to be asleep, body hanging over the wooden bench, eyes closed, head resting on one hand. Or maybe he was dead? Even from here Armin could smell him and, since he had been here, Levi had sprayed air freshener periodically around the room. Either way, Armin was glad he wasn’t in the cell.

“Nah, that’s for serious criminals and repeat offenders. He’s not a bad kid, just did something stupid for a stupid reason.”

Levi was right about that. He shouldn’t have taken Eren’s dare. But Jean was there and Armin wanted to impress him. But then he got caught, which wasn’t very impressive at all.

“When I brought him in I told him to sit over there and he hasn’t moved an inch since. I’d say he feels bad enough.”

“What did he steal?”

Levi reached beneath the table and grabbed the item, sat it in front of Erwin.

Erwin blinked at it. “Let me see if I’ve got this correct…” he looked at Armin “...you’re in mall jail because you _snaffled_ a _Snapple?_ ”

Oh god. As if this entire situation wasn’t bad enough, his dad was making a pun about it.

“Yes, sir,” Armin answered quietly.

“I...I can’t even be mad. The joke’s too good.”

Levi snorted, mouth twitching briefly into a smile. “Be that as it may, you still have to pay a fee for his release.”

“How much?”

“Fifty bucks.”

“Fifty _bucks?_ ”

His dad went quiet and Armin thought that he might be considering how fifty dollars seemed awfully steep for attempting to steal a drink that was only a dollar and some change.

Then he spoke.

“Oh _deer_. I don’t carry that kind of _doe_ with me,” he continued, leaning forward on his elbows and winking conspiratorially at Levi.

Oh no. More puns. And what was worse, he was trying to _flirt_ with them.

Not that Armin had anything against his dad getting a date. It got him out of the office and kept him from moping around the house eating all the ice cream. But now hardly seemed like the appropriate time. And Armin wasn’t sure that Levi, as amused as he might have acted about the drink one, was all that interested in hearing more.

“Sir,” Levi said harshly and Armin inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. He felt a small pang of guilt as his dad’s face fell, but it was probably for the best. “If you want to _fawn_ over me, I suggest you come back at three at the end of my shift. We can go to that new restaurant down the street.”

Wait...what? It actually worked? Armin was shocked, to say the least.

“Hey, kid,” Levi said and Armin snapped to attention. “You’re free to go.”

“Really?” Armin and Erwin asked at the same time.

“It’s a first offense, so I can waive the fee and let him off with a warning.” Levi shrugged. “Besides, I think he’s gone through enough _pun_ ishment.”

Levi smirked and Erwin laughed. Armin groaned and put his head in his hands.

They were embarrassingly perfect for each other.


End file.
